I haven't blogged in FOREVER... it's horrible.. and what's even worse, is that I have no good excuses. I didn't blog for so long because every time I went to start a post I froze and couldn't think of anything that I wanted to write, or anything that I thought was good enough to write.. But I decided that it doesn't matter what I write.. this really isn't for anyone else but me.. Yes people read this, but I don't write it for everyone. I write for me. To help me think through whatever it is that I have to think through.. or simply to put it out into the universe and hope that someone is listening (or reading) to this and things will fall into place as they are supposed to.. So here is a post about me. About what I want to do, where I want to go, and my life :)
I have finally got my mind set on the career that I want to at least start out with in life. It took me a while to come to a conclusion on one career that I wouldn't get bored at.. but I found it. I am going to school now to earn a Bachelors degree in Exercise Science, and then I might even move on to Graduate school to get my Masters in Physical Therapy. There is so much to learn in this field, that I will never get bored. I can always be learning something new. The body is absolutely amazing and mind blowing. Everyday that I am in Human Anatomy I am shocked at how incredible our bodies are, and the things that they are capable of. It is unreal.
Even though I finally know what I want to do for a career, I have NO idea what I want to do in life. I don't know where I want to end up, or what I want to do in the process. I know I want to travel every chance that I get. I want to see as much of the world and be exposed to the many different cultures there are. I want to do new things, and explore.
I want to be able to find someone who will love, respect and cherish me. I want to have a family of my own one day, and raise them to not be afraid of change and have a desire to explore.
I want to be the best that I can be. I have been trying to work on this one a lot this summer. I am trying to figure out exactly what I want, believe, and need. I still have a lot to find out, but I have discovered a lot as well. I want to keep figuring out more about myself and become the type of person that I would want to be friends with or in a relationship with.
I know, a lot of this is kind of cheesy... but it's all truth. I have so many things running through my brain all the time.. so many places I want to go, and things that I want to try and do.. hopefully I will be able to find someone to do these things with me.
I have been involved in "relationships" per say that were completely and utterly wrong for me.. Actually almost all of them were.. and I don't write this so that people will feel bad for me at all. I write this for information. I am horrible at finding a good companion. I never look for the long term qualities that I know that I want in someone.. I look for the here and now aspects of the person. Which isn't horrible for right now I guess because I don't want to get married right now.. but it doesn't get me any closer to a goal. It almost sets me back more and more every time.. So I am starting a new goal. From now on, I am going to try to look passed the here and now, and what I want in the moment, and look more towards a long term goal when I look at who is attractive and worth my time, because I deserve someone who wants to be there down there road. I do. Everyone does. You just have to believe it.
Life is so unpredictable.. and it's up to you how your life turns out! :D
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself!!!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Gratitude..
In The Secret, there is a section on Gratitude. It says, roughly, that if you are constantly grateful for the great things that you do have, that you will attract more great things into your life. A long time ago, before I went to sleep one night, I wrote down all the things that I was grateful for that day. It was a pretty simple and general list, but I barely even scraped the surface. There are so many things to be grateful for every day, and it is important to show gratitude for all of those things. We never know what could be taken away...
I am so blessed. So very blessed. And it is sad to know that I don't appreciate the things that I do have as much as I should.
I am so very lucky to be able to live with my family right now. Although, sometimes it is frustrating to live by rules, or have "restrictions", I know that everything is for my own good and benefit. I love my family with all of my heart. It probably doesn't seem like I do about 98% of the time, but I honestly do. I would do anything for them. All of them. I miss my family in Pennsylvania. I try not to think about the things that I miss out on, but when we only go back once, maybe twice a year, and I can see the differences, and how grown up everyone is, it makes things difficult. My family is the absolute best and they mean the world to me. They are the most caring, and understanding family I could ever ask for. Yes, they are loud and crazy most of the time, but that is just one of the many things that I love.
I am so grateful to have the opportunity to go to school and to study the subjects that I choose to study. A lot of the time I get so caught up in the homework and studying and tests, that I really don't think about how many people can only dream about being able to go to school and get an education. I am truly blessed. It is very difficult a lot of the time, but it only helps to make me a better person.
I have a job. I have a job that I love doing. I love being on that stage and performing for everyone. The feeling you get when you see that little girl smiling at you with big eyes and having the time of her life is priceless. It makes all of the long rehearsals, hot summer days, late/early nights, completely worth it. I am so grateful to work with such amazing talent every night. I am amazed at how talented my cast members are. They are beautiful people, inside and out... as cheesy as it sounds, it is 100% true. I have made some life-long friends this summer and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I have learned much more about myself from these amazing people than I would have on my own. Incredible.
I am grateful for me. For my life, and for all of the amazing opportunities that I have been given, and those to come. I am grateful for the beautiful place that I live. My home, yes, but also this area of the world, and this amazing country. It is absolutely beautiful and I take it for granted everyday. I am grateful for the "Canyon of the Gods" that I work in every night. It is breathtaking.. and yet, I still take it for granted. I am blessed. I am so so grateful for all of my amazing friends who have helped me along the way, and who have help shape who I am today.
I encourage everyone, well whoever reads this, to think about your own lives and find out what you are grateful for. There are millions of things, so start thinking! :D
BE FOREVER GRATEFUL!
I am so blessed. So very blessed. And it is sad to know that I don't appreciate the things that I do have as much as I should.
I am so very lucky to be able to live with my family right now. Although, sometimes it is frustrating to live by rules, or have "restrictions", I know that everything is for my own good and benefit. I love my family with all of my heart. It probably doesn't seem like I do about 98% of the time, but I honestly do. I would do anything for them. All of them. I miss my family in Pennsylvania. I try not to think about the things that I miss out on, but when we only go back once, maybe twice a year, and I can see the differences, and how grown up everyone is, it makes things difficult. My family is the absolute best and they mean the world to me. They are the most caring, and understanding family I could ever ask for. Yes, they are loud and crazy most of the time, but that is just one of the many things that I love.
I am so grateful to have the opportunity to go to school and to study the subjects that I choose to study. A lot of the time I get so caught up in the homework and studying and tests, that I really don't think about how many people can only dream about being able to go to school and get an education. I am truly blessed. It is very difficult a lot of the time, but it only helps to make me a better person.
I have a job. I have a job that I love doing. I love being on that stage and performing for everyone. The feeling you get when you see that little girl smiling at you with big eyes and having the time of her life is priceless. It makes all of the long rehearsals, hot summer days, late/early nights, completely worth it. I am so grateful to work with such amazing talent every night. I am amazed at how talented my cast members are. They are beautiful people, inside and out... as cheesy as it sounds, it is 100% true. I have made some life-long friends this summer and I wouldn't have traded it for anything. I have learned much more about myself from these amazing people than I would have on my own. Incredible.
I am grateful for me. For my life, and for all of the amazing opportunities that I have been given, and those to come. I am grateful for the beautiful place that I live. My home, yes, but also this area of the world, and this amazing country. It is absolutely beautiful and I take it for granted everyday. I am grateful for the "Canyon of the Gods" that I work in every night. It is breathtaking.. and yet, I still take it for granted. I am blessed. I am so so grateful for all of my amazing friends who have helped me along the way, and who have help shape who I am today.
I encourage everyone, well whoever reads this, to think about your own lives and find out what you are grateful for. There are millions of things, so start thinking! :D
BE FOREVER GRATEFUL!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
The Secret
Life is hard. And sometimes it feels like nothing goes right. Like a downward spiral, and there is no way to reverse it. But there is. The way we handle life's ups and downs is up to us. A very good friend of mine recently got me this book called The Secret. I hadn't heard of it, but it is very popular. It is about learning how to control our thoughts so that we think positive thoughts all the time. Because if you think positively you will attract more positive thoughts and your life will become more positive, and exactly what you want. It is actually very interesting and insightful. In this book it talks about making goals for yourself and to help keep those thoughts of what you want with you, it talks about a vision board/book. I have heard about these, and I started making one a couple years back, but obviously never followed through. Today is different. I went and got my vision book and made the very first page! I am starting today with setting my goals and making sure that I achieve them!
This is my dream/vision book! :) I loved this quote when I saw it and thought that it is perfect for the purpose of this book!
Also, the same friend that gave me the book, gave me advice about myself. I am the kind of person who will always put everyone and everything before myself. Which is good at times, but then who takes care of me? So her advice was to start doing things for myself, and that is exactly what I did today! I went to the store and got my dream book, but also got a new sketch book and pencils! I have always loved to draw and sketch things, but I haven't in a while, and I have never had real charcoal pencils to sketch with!
My beautiful new sketch book! :)
My first drawing in my new book! :)
Today was the first day in a while that I was truly happy! I am starting to slowly change, and become a better person! :D Life is good!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Expression
Well like I have already stated, I have always loved to write.. whether it be poems or lyrics...anything to help me express things that I can't seem to say, but can write. Hence why I started this blog.. I have way to many thoughts going through my head and I need a place to let them out. I am always nervous about writing and then showing people because I am afraid of what they might think.. but I am getting over my insecurities and I am going to share something that I have written and see what the insight and thoughts are of others. If there are any :)
The Perfect Fairytale Night
just a chill in the air
beautiful sunset and sandy beach
and not a single care.
Being here with you
holding your hand
looking into your eyes
and floating off land.
Never feeling this way before
my insides like a little girls
the feelings of safety and love
are sending my mind in a whirl.
Wrapped in your arms
eyes are closed tight
not wanting to open and see
it was all a dream in the night.
Open my eyes to find out
still wrapped in your arms tight
just a chill in the air
My Perfect Fairytale Night.
I know that this is nothing spectacular or anything, but the memory behind this is what makes it one of my very favorites! I usually only write about the happy, lovey dovey kind of things because when I write about sad topics it makes me depressed and angry, so I have tried to focus on the more happy thoughts! :)
I started to get the writing bug when a good friend of mine was writing music of his own. He is such a talented and amazing person who is too humble to admit his incredible abilities, but that's what I am here for! We started talking about music a lot and about his songs that he has written and I decided that I was going to try to start writing more. And there you go.. I don't do it as often as I would like, but when I do it helps me so much. Helps me put all of my fears, doubts and insecurities into something that I can see and become aware of, and then hopefully change.
"For me, writing is an exploration; and most of the time, I'm surprised where the journey takes me."
Jack Dann
The Perfect Fairytale Night
just a chill in the air
beautiful sunset and sandy beach
and not a single care.
Being here with you
holding your hand
looking into your eyes
and floating off land.
Never feeling this way before
my insides like a little girls
the feelings of safety and love
are sending my mind in a whirl.
Wrapped in your arms
eyes are closed tight
not wanting to open and see
it was all a dream in the night.
Open my eyes to find out
still wrapped in your arms tight
just a chill in the air
My Perfect Fairytale Night.
I know that this is nothing spectacular or anything, but the memory behind this is what makes it one of my very favorites! I usually only write about the happy, lovey dovey kind of things because when I write about sad topics it makes me depressed and angry, so I have tried to focus on the more happy thoughts! :)
I started to get the writing bug when a good friend of mine was writing music of his own. He is such a talented and amazing person who is too humble to admit his incredible abilities, but that's what I am here for! We started talking about music a lot and about his songs that he has written and I decided that I was going to try to start writing more. And there you go.. I don't do it as often as I would like, but when I do it helps me so much. Helps me put all of my fears, doubts and insecurities into something that I can see and become aware of, and then hopefully change.
"For me, writing is an exploration; and most of the time, I'm surprised where the journey takes me."
Jack Dann
First time for everything!
I finally decided to give in to the new craze of blogging! At first, I didn't do it because everyone else was.. and because secretly I knew I would enjoy it. I have always enjoyed writing, mostly poems or lyrics.. never really anything that remotely resembles an essay.. but I have been going through a lot in the past year or so and writing has always helped me express how I feel or what I am thinking and so now here I am.. blogging. I'm not really sure what all to write about, or how to go about putting all of my thoughts together to make it so others could read and understand what in the world I am talking about.. But I am sure going to try. And besides, this really isn't meant for anyone in particular to read. Just a way to express and remember things in my life. And if someone does like what I am writing than it is just a plus.. A MAJOR plus, because I can't imagine anyone ever actually understanding my thought process :)
A very good and dear friend of mine just started a blog not too long ago, and for her first post she decided to write a little bit about herself.. and I think I might steal that idea. Hopefully she doesn't mind.. Love ya Molls! :)
I love to dance. I started dancing when I was 3 years old, and have loved it ever since. Whether watching or actually dancing myself, there is just something so freeing (is that a word) and energizing about it. I love sports! My family and myself are HUGE Steelers fans.. and I mean HUGE! If you are for another team, we can be friends as long as we never talk about football :) But I really do love sports, I used to play basketball and it was great! I played when I was little, in my backyard with the neighbor boys, and then when I was in 8th grade I decided to try out for the basketball team and somehow made it! It was a great experience and I made some amazing friends. I also enjoy just hanging out and not doing anything at all. With my busy schedule as of late, this is something that I cherish, relaxing.
There will definitely be more to come, but I think that is all for now :)
A very good and dear friend of mine just started a blog not too long ago, and for her first post she decided to write a little bit about herself.. and I think I might steal that idea. Hopefully she doesn't mind.. Love ya Molls! :)
I love to dance. I started dancing when I was 3 years old, and have loved it ever since. Whether watching or actually dancing myself, there is just something so freeing (is that a word) and energizing about it. I love sports! My family and myself are HUGE Steelers fans.. and I mean HUGE! If you are for another team, we can be friends as long as we never talk about football :) But I really do love sports, I used to play basketball and it was great! I played when I was little, in my backyard with the neighbor boys, and then when I was in 8th grade I decided to try out for the basketball team and somehow made it! It was a great experience and I made some amazing friends. I also enjoy just hanging out and not doing anything at all. With my busy schedule as of late, this is something that I cherish, relaxing.
There will definitely be more to come, but I think that is all for now :)
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